Poet Robot Review

The following is a completely serious review of the entirely serious upcoming collection Poet Robot by E. I. Wong. Check out his writing at https://notesfromanarcissist.wordpress.com/

28495754Hello, Reader

Good reviewers are completely objective.
They leave no trace of themselves in the review.
The only thing you should notice about a reviewer
is their name at the top of the thing.

A good reviewer would never rate a book higher
because it was signed personally to him or
sent to him as a review copy or
because the author “liked” things on the reviewer’s blog.

A good reviewer, of course, gets immediately to the point.
He does not write in a silly form to reference the material being reviewed.
He certainly doesn’t ramble on about other things
like the experience of waking up with an anime blow up doll
at five in the morning that seemed to take the shape of a certain poetic robot
and who promised sexual favors for…well… a good reviewer wouldn’t say what for, would he?
After all, he would never accept sexual favors.
Good reviewers are all virgins, of course.

A good reviewer certainly would point out some of the questionable font choices,
and take into account the fact that a good chunk of the material is available on the author’s blog,
but look at that robot’s eyes.
Don’t you just want to find that robot’s usb port and plug yourself in?
Look it’s saying “heart” already.
What could it hurt?

A good reviewer would mention the parts that made him
laugh,
made him
feel,
would admit that certain sections left him in awe of the, shall we say, Wong?
And would reiterate, even though already stated in the reviewers review of Tin Lion, that the story entitled
“To Describe Blow Jobs Artistically”
is one of the most astoundingly beautiful things arted.

A good reviewer knows lots of fancy terms to describe things.
Like arted. And pretty. And diegetic.
Yes, yes. So diegetic. Such control of “the craft”.
Such poetic chop suey.
These are all things a professional reviewer would say because they know.
What do they know?

That this book is good
and represents the views of San Francisco.

Music Soaked Ebook Available

Hi Reader!

Just wanted to point your attention to my new book page that will have links to all of my works and where you can get them.

MU_Cover

The collection of short stories that I posted on this website over the summer have been collected into an ebook for ease of use. It’s free of charge at smashwords, and I wish it was free at Amazon, but they have a 99 cent minimum that you can only get around if people tell them there is a lower price somewhere else. I’ve done that, but I think it will need to get a little more attention from others for Amazon to notice.

As it is you can still buy it from Amazon, and if you want to throw me a few cents then please go ahead, but if you want to add it to your kindle library for free use the link on the books page on Amazon to tell them to lower the fricken price.

So that’s it.

– Sayonara